Tag Archives: love

Saying Yes and De-Stressing

sayyesadventures

It has been nearly 5 months since my last update and there is so much to catch up on!

We left Darwin in late October for the Sunshine Coast and travelled down over the course of about four days. We left Darwin in a little bit of a hurry as Stu had a job offer down the coast and we needed to arrive within five days. He got the phone call at about 2pm that day and we packed up all of our belongings into the car and left the next morning at 6am to been our 3500km journey.

Here’s a video I created documenting that trip.

We were headed to Stu’s friend Simon’s home, which he shares with his wonderful wife Judy ( Who at this point I had never met, and now I consider a good friend) & their three children. They were kind enough to offer us their spare room in their lovely house in Currimundi near Caloundra, until we found our feet.

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Simon & Judy on Christmas Day

The feet didn’t take long to get found and we ended up only staying with them for one week, after we found a beautiful Queenslander on the gorgeous Bribie Island to stay in with the owner, a lovely lady called Chloe and her Kelpie cross Border Collie pup, Boris.

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Boris

The location was beautiful and it was handy to still meet up with Simon and Judy at the weekends as Bribie Island is only around an hour away from Currimundi. Bribie Island is a little piece of heaven, a beautiful island off the Sunshine Coast near(ish) to Brisbane, connected to the mainland by a large road bridge and easy walking distance to all your amenities. In fact the majority of Bribie Island is made up of National Park Land. The downside to this being that it is a very desirable place to live, especially for the older generation, and the people and houses are all compacted down to one end. In fact as beautiful as it is, it is known as an above-ground graveyard within the surrounding area.

It proved near impossible for me to find work, being a small place with far more people than job opportunities, plus the fact I definitely feel employers are put off when they see the applicant is on a working holiday visa.

I felt depression creep back into my life whilst living there, which is quite remarkable considering it was such a beautiful breathtaking place. I felt so blessed to have the opportunity to live there, but not being able to find work really took its toll on me. I felt like I had failed.

Eventually after eating into our savings for nearly a month,  Stu & I decided it was time to move on. He no longer wanted to stay working a job he didn’t like for a poorly run business  and to be honest I was happy and excited to hit the road again.

It was now mid-November, We spent around a week trying to find work somewhere new, basically anywhere in Australia, (although we really wanted to stay in Queensland if possible) and after searching all over the internet on every job website, dozens of emails and phone calls later we found a job working for Manbulloo mangoes who provide Mangoes to Coles (One of the biggest supermarkets in Australia). This job opportunity meant us driving from Bribie Island to a (tiny) place called Giru nestled somewhere between Ayr and Townsville in North Queensland, around a 1300km drive. With no idea where we would stay or what the work would be like we took a chance, packed our lives up into the car once again and took a big dive into the unknown.

I was looking forward to seeing a new place, and meeting some new faces, I was determined that I would make the most of this adventure and pull myself out of whatever rut I had started to fall into.

We decided this time to do an all-night drive, so we spent the day packing up the car, drank copious amounts of coffee and finally we left around 10pm that evening. Around about 5am the next day Stu was getting extremely tired and he doesn’t like me driving on long journeys, (that’s a whole other story though) so we pulled into a rest stop for an hour. He had a nap and I have to admit, I was so incredibly grumpy on this trip. I’m sure any member of my family could tell you that when I haven’t slept I am a very grumpy lady. Public apology to anyone who has encountered sleepy Morv! I felt like I had to stay up to keep Stu awake, so I consumed way too much caffeine and it prevented me from sleeping at all the whole trip.

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Leaving Bribie, crossing the bridge to the mainland.

At one point we were coming over a steep hill at around 3/4am and there was a massive road train behind us, he had been sitting right up behind us for  a few kms and then on a blind hill he decided to flash us (we were doing the speed limit), and then begin to overtake us not knowing if anything was coming the other direction. There was a steep drop off to our left, I totally panicked, and Stu slowed down, as we were pretty much forced to. This driver then pulled himself in front of us rapidly and his back end nearly whipped us off the road, I am not even joking, I thought we were gonna get swept off the road, we pulled back and he narrowly missed us by a hair, our hearts were racing as we came over the top of the blind hill and then see another truck coming on the other side of the road. If it had come a few seconds sooner, I swear we’d all have been dead.

How irresponsible. What a selfish act of driving. Maybe the truck driver has children, would they want people to do that to a car with their children or partner inside? He/she put everyones life in danger that night and we were shook up for the remainder of the journey.

Everyone makes mistakes though, so hopefully it was just an error in judgement.

Here’s a video I made of the trip from Sunshine Coast to Giru (via a one night stay in Bowen) where we lived and worked for a month.

We went via Bowen, where Stu grew up as it was on the way and he gave me a quick tour. As we had made good time, we arrived there around about 1/2pm we decided to set-up-swag in the Horseshoe Bay Caravan Park as you are not allowed to free camp anywhere around Bowen such as on beaches etc.

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Enjoying a beer at Horseshoe Bay after a very long drive overnight.

I absolutely loved Bowen! We stayed one night and then the next day we had to drive to Giru, further North. We sussed out where our new work place was and then called up places looking for some cheap accomodation for the upcoming month. The cabins in caravan parks nearby were charging ridiculous rates per week, for the same money you could have rented a 5 bedroom Queenslander near the beach. As Giru is in the middle of nowhere, it’s just off the main highway with a large sugar cane factory works (sugar cane processing stinks FYI) there’s not too many options unless we wanted to stay in Ayr which we did not and we definitely weren’t willing to stay at a backpackers hostel, no offence to  those who do, both me and Stu have done it before, but we value our own space and freedom too much now to go back to it  (plus, I’ve heard some horror stories).

We managed to find an absolute gem off the highway, a crumbly sign for an Eco-Tourist Park looked intriguing and was only 10 minutes from the mango shed. As we drove in, it was certainly eco – thousands of wallabies everywhere, a little run down but it sat under a beautiful mountain range and was lush and green and more importantly away from too many people. Here we met Fred, originally from Germany, a 90 year old man who had cleared this piece of land with his young family when he was in his 20’s. He was such a genuine, straight up, wonderful man. He told us many a tale of his past, showed us through old photo albums and told us that we were the most respectful, nicest couple he had stay in the park for over ten years.

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At nearby Billabong Sanctuary

 

He had only one caravan available on site, it looked pretty big and had a massive canvas annexe attached, as we stepped inside it was clear it had been empty for a while, it had a smell about it that I still can’t put my finger on, but hey, who cares we thought, we’ll take it! After a fair amount of Nag Champa had been burned, floors had been swept, everything cleaned and dinners had been cooked, it no longer smelt stale, and we had our own little cute pad for the next month.

We also made some pals in the park, all of which were furry. Possums regularly woke me up in the night climbing on the caravan, one of which had made his home between a tin roof and the top of the caravan, which I’m pretty sure is why he crawled inside the annexe desperate for water a few times. It got real hot here, and I’m glad we could help the wee guys. We fed the wallabies and possums mangoes that had gone too soft for eating, and they became regular fixtures at our front ‘garden’. We really enjoyed living here and Fred was excellent to have a chat with each week when we went in to pay our rent. Most of the other residents here were contractors we never really saw anyone to speak to them, everyone was doing seasonal work and was either working or sleeping, which made it such a beautiful and peaceful place. We took some time out after work one day to go for a local bush walk to the local rock slide, and that was amazing.

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One of our possum pals who came to see us for some water

We worked at the mango shed until around the 20th December by which time we were both so over it. At some points we were doing 70+ hour weeks and getting paid really awful wages, especially since the more you work the more you get taxed. One massive bonus of working there though was the amount of delicious mangoes we got to consume, and we made some delicious mango chutney to give as Christmas gifts, which went down very well with Simons family!

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Stu enjoying playing guitar in the spacious annexe

I painted this picture to give to Fred the Eco-tourist park owner, we had many chats about the commercialism of Christmas and as we wanted to give him something, I decided on making him a gift using up some of the paints and canvasses that we have been carting around Australia with us! He loved it. His eyesight is not great so I think he really appreciated the bold lines and colours.15665964_10154966618922868_1580557610874393212_n

We decided we would go back to Bowen for Christmas, so once again without knowing too much about where we would stay, we packed up our lives and headed to Bowen. Luckily I looked on Gumtree and I found an old advert from September still up, from a guy looking for a housemate in his four bedroom Queenslander. I took a stab in the dark, as it was the 23rd December at this point, I messaged him and he said he would be happy for us to drop in and see him.

Feeling a bit like Mary & Joseph, we did, and he let us move in that day.

We are extremely lucky to live with the aforementioned, Liam, we’ve been on a good few adventures so far, lots of snorkelling, bbq’s and a boat trip. It is so nice to live with someone and have that social aspect there too.

Thanks Liam!

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At Mother Beddick in Bowen

Stu knows his friend Simon from Bowen, as they were a pair of bloody terrors when they were kids, running rampant around the neighbourhood, or so I’ve heard, so Simon and Judy (who’s also from Bowen) were coming up for a big family Christmas. We were lucky enough for them to invite us along for Christmas Day with the whole family which was just lovely and so nice to see everyone again. We spent the day by the pool and the night dancing our butts off.

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Judy & I having a girly day eating lunch and drinking pints!

We organised to meet up with our awesome friends Anna & Trev, who we worked with at TFS the Sandalwood Plantation in the NT, for New Year, and decided to head to Hydeaway Bay. They brought one of their older dogs Buster, their teenage pup Boogie, and their new lil’ baby pup Trip. We had an awesome weekend with them down at the beach, snorkelling and camping.

A brilliant way to bring in a new year!

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Trip hitching’ a lift

We were sitting on the beach around 8.30pm on New Years Eve (Saying “Hogmanaaaay” was a running joke at New Years as my Aussie friends had never heard of it before) with a fire burning and two men began to approach us, we were the only people on the beach, so we thought maybe we would get told to put the fire out, but instead they asked if it was okay if they set off some fireworks near us. We were front row seat to a show of fireworks at 9pm, and luckily we had chilled Prosecco to pair it with.

It was so perfect.

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Happy to be here

Then I had another amazing surprise happen! My darling friend Louise who I met whilst travelling in South America, and with whom I ended up travelling with for three months AND who became a HUGE part of my life messaged me to say she was in Australia and could she come visit me. It was so lovely to have her stay for a couple of days, and really made me realise how many amazing people I have been lucky enough to meet and be able to call my friends.

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Louise is a beautiful mermaid

Stu and I are still currently loving life in beautiful Bowen, and awaiting the next adventure to unfold. I’ll keep you updated.

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NYE kisses

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Murray’s Bay, Bowen

My observations for 2016/2017

I have had an amazing start to the New Year, which kind of just rolled over from the whole of 2016 being so bloody interesting and exciting.

After we finished work at the Mango shed, I really wanted to get back into my fitness and so once we were back in a place with some reliable fast internet, I started doing yoga workouts with my favourite instructor Yoga With Adriene from the comfort of an air-conditioned spare room. I started to do around 3-4 sessions per week, and I also signed up for Bowen Parkrun, of which I have only done one (on Christmas Eve) as it is so hot even though they do them early in the morning, it was the hardest 5km run I think I have ever done!

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Feeling pooped after the Parkrun on Christmas Eve

Then, Yoga with Adriene created Yoga Revolution which is 31 days of daily yoga videos from the 1st to the 31st of January, I got really excited and signed up straight away. It has been so interesting to do yoga everyday. At one point in fact I wanted to go to India ( I nearly did & still do want to) to do my yoga teacher training. It’s had a wonderful effect on my mind and my body. I like to do it in the mornings and it really sets me up for the day in the best state of mind. Even when I don’t feel like it, I still turn up to the mat and never have I once regretted doing so (we’re on day 23 so far).

16266228_10155074686477868_874726978339231300_nYou can still do Yoga Revolution at any time, and just work your way through from day 1 to day 31. I really recommend it and you can go as hard or as gentle as you like.

I’ve noticed something that’s changed in my life in the last year too, I used to be a kinda messy/lazy person. I’m not really at all like that anymore, don’t get me wrong I have lazy days, but I love to keep everything clean and tidy, I get such satisfaction from a clean kitchen, a tidy room, a hoovered floor and organisation, it makes me feel more at peace. I don’t feel stressed out about where things are, I can find everything in its place and it’s all clean and ready to go when I need it. I wish I’d discovered that one a good few years ago! I like to be spontaneous, so if someone wants to do something last minute I can just say yeah sure give me 5 and I can easily have everything I need to go ready. It’s made a huge impact on my levels of stress.

I’ve decided not to make any New Years Resolutions. I just know I want to feel good this year like I did the last, I’m not going to define things too definitely by years either as I suppose really there is literally one second between them.

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Stu looking hawt

I definitely agree that it’s good to see your progress and track it somehow, so it makes me thankful to have this (slightly neglected) blog on which I can reflect on life, and see how things have changed over the years.

What are your observations of positive changes to your life over the past year? I’d love to hear other peoples points of view!

If there’s one piece of advice I could give, it would be to definitely do things that scare you. They are usually the things worth doing. Follow that little desire at the back of your mind, which seems impossible now, and make steps towards it becoming a real experience. 

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Much love and thank you for reading!

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Much love from my Wombat friend

Morv x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Top End

I will forever be thankful waking up everyday to the beautiful combination of a deep blue sky lighting up a rugged red dirt landscape filled with lush green palms.

The Northern Territory really is something else. The saying up here goes “If you never never go, then you’ll never never know” and I am so happy to be here and to have the opportunity to find out for myself.

The land is lush and dusty all at once, (that red dirt I speak of gets everywhere & into everything) the rivers and creeks are all croc-infested,  the mozzies are brutal, Crocodile Dundee was filmed up here and you understand why once you see some of the wild crocs roaming free.

We are currently working on a Sandalwood plantation in a region called Douglas Daly, about two hours South of Darwin. After three months work I am now an accomplished tractor driver and myself and Stu are the marking team, using tractors to paint mark the layout of the Sandalwood. It is a parasitic tree and therefore needs host trees to feed off as it grows so the layouts can get pretty hectic as some of the plots need to be in a pattern, planted in a certain angle,(so that the rows look pretty and so that the Sandalwood can reach the roots of the hosts).

It is two hours from camp to the nearest shop for groceries so we often spend a whole afternoon going to get our shopping for the week. We have had the opportunity to travel too, as there are plantations situated in Katherine and Mataranka further South again. There is so much to do around here, especially in nature, Stu enjoys fishing, and we often go camping and on adventures with friends in the local area. We are so glad we invested in a 4WD as without it, many places would be impossible to get to.

I made a video to show what we’ve been up to which is probably easier than me trying to explain everything.

Internet is hard to find in these parts so we make the most of it when we can, hence why posts are few and far between recently, although it is fantastic being able to enjoy life without staring into a phone or computer screen everyday.

Who knows what we’ll be up to in the next three months!

 

 

 

 

 

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Grass is just green.

I don’t know where to start.

I leave for Australia in 45 days and I have begun to pretty much stress out subconsciously.

I have been experiencing anxiety attacks pretty often and have been sleeping real bad.

So, I’m not sure what to get into in this.

I’m gonna start with coping techniques and hopefully form something that could be helpful for someone in a similar position, be it moving house, moving country or a change in circumstance.

The first thing I did when I realised we only had 100 days left in Scotland was I bought a new pair of running shoes and I decided I was gonna run every single bloody day, not necessarily far, but just go for a run. Enjoy the scenery, look at the cute dogs in the park, and hopefully chill my frantic mind the hell out. I have been successful at this so far (55 days),and it is now a form of relaxation that I now cannot deny myself.

I have a mental list that I need to write out and add to as I remember but this includes:

  • re-homing my rescue dog
  • essential overdue dental work
  • health check
  • seeing everyone I care about before I leave
  • clearing out a very full house
  • re-homing artwork
  • re-homing art accessories
  • finding year long travel insurance
  • saving a good sum of money
  • finding a storage place for priceless items, letters, drawings, memories & photographs
  • timing all of this so that I don’t end up in a cold bare house with nothing
  • dealing with my emotions over leaving my family
  • trying not cry about my family, friends, dog, flat etc.
  • reminding myself how exciting life is and that this is what I want!

Okay this feels good.

I hadn’t done this kinda list yet.

I like it.

I also made a total faux pas of thinking that in the 100 days left I could on top of everything else have the mental capacity to write a 100 day blog of my days. So yeah that definitely backfired on me.

I just need to give my pal Paddy, a chef at my work ‘Velvet Elvis’ in Partick a shout out because he is an awesome chef and he told me he was secretly hoping to get a wee mention on my 100 happy days as he has made me some super duper vegan meals whilst at work. So thank you Paddy!

On that note, I’m gonna leave this blog as un-insightful as it is, and I suppose the only thing I’ve really suggested that is possibly helpful is that exercise makes your body feel good, but it makes your brain feel better.

I’ll be back with more soon.

Thanks for reading and sticking in there with me.

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Vegucation

Since everyone is always like ‘Oooh, but what do you eat?’ when they find out I’m vegan, I just wanted to clarify that eating vegan is just like eating ‘normally’ I guess.

It’s very tasty ( in my opinion) you’ve just gotta be creative, but simple lunches such as avocado on toast which I have most lunchtimes ‘cos I’m lazy ( and it makes me happy!) are brilliant too 🙂 I think of being vegan as being less selfish to what I am told is tasty by advertising and taking hold on what I know is actually tasty and cruelty free food. If you don’t agree with people eating dogs then why is it okay in your mind to drink a mother cows milk (meant for her calves btw) and also to eat chickens and basically their eggs (or periods depending how you look at it). We have been taught from a young age that these things are okay but did you ever stop and question it? You can eat vegan and still be really unhealthy, many unhealthy highly processed foods are vegan, but for most vegans avoiding processed foods and featuring as many fresh, healthful foods is key!

Most vegans feel that by not eating meat or dairy, or buying any animal products they are making a sacrifice that has a somewhat small impact on the lives of other beings on this planet. Some people feel that vegans force their views on others. In reality most vegans are trying to support beings that have no voice. I can’t speak for every vegan out there but I know that, without forcing it on others, I feel that my choices do have a positive effect on the animals of this world and the environment. No matter how small one persons choices are, ultimately these build and DO eventually make an impact.

I’ve also noticed that there seems to be a massive divide between meat eaters and vegans, and I understand if you love your steak, as my boyfriend loves his meat, but he also accommodates for my vegan diet when we spend time together, and I respect his diet. We aren’t some mad race of lunatics who criticise other people who are different from us every move. I fully embrace people who just make a change that can make a difference. Cutting out dairy for instance can make a huge impact. Or even just lessening the amount of meat you consume. It’s better for your health, the environment too!

Please don’t hate us!

I am vegan because I love animals. I love my pet dog, Lola. I started to feel ill from consuming dairy products and I researched it and I realised what was going on. I stopped eating meat when I couldn’t see a difference between my beloved dog and a cow in a farm. Why is a horse better than a cow? Why is a dog better than a sheep? Why is a dolphin better than a whale or shark? Are we judging this on looks or what? I’m not sure but things need to change!

There’s this whole protein argument, but there are healthy natural ways to get protein rather from killing and consuming animals.

Please think about it next time you buy a steak, and when you buy a pizza, that cheese was made from milk meant for the cows calf which was taken from it just after birth. I’m not exaggerating,  this is TRUTH.

Why are we being hated on for being good people.

It’s time to stop being so selfish.

If you love bacon or eggs, then that’s okay give up something you find easy to at first.

It took years for me to become a full on vegan, you cant just become vegan overnight, as you’ll definitely stumble. Cutting out things as you educate yourself is the way I found best. I watched documentaries and found I no longer could stomach certain foods.

I consider myself an ethical vegan but I certainly reap the health benefits.

It takes years to learn, and adjust.

It is a little to give up for a lot of happiness worldwide.

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I thought I’d make some points:

  1. It’s very cheap to be vegan! A weekly shop for me will be something like: bread, avocados, potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, garlic, squash, lettuce, cucumber, many bananas for smoothies, tomatoes, Vegemite, lentils, chickpeas, agave nectar, frozen peas, rice.
  2. You feel good: You are eating fresh unprocessed food, I’m pretty sure every diet book you ever read encouraged this!
  3. You lose weight: Your body understands the food you’re eating and can digest it well. It took a few months but I started to lose weight after keeping at it!
  4. You have more energy: As long as you make sure you take vitamin B12 every day( a necessity) and keep your iron levels high (that’s why its so important to not eat junk vegan food! You must eat healthy natural fresh food!) you will fell great, you will naturally lose weight and being slim is much easier than ever before.
  5. You feel closer to the world around you.
  6. You taste more: Plain simple foods taste amazing! You have less need for sauces and salt. I had a big bowl of mashed potato for dinner and it was delicious.
  7. Educate yourself and find your own path. If vegan-ism sparks an interest in you then explore it. Don’t be ashamed of it and follow your own path 🙂 Your choices no matter how big or small make a difference!

My boyfriend makes a mean Vegan Dahl

Jamie Oliver’s Vegan Shepherd’s Pie is outta this world and I’ve enjoyed this with many meat eating pals

Vegan Sushi is my go to easy meal

And if you can’t let go of your favourite junk foods, here;s a must follow for your needs!

Accidentally Vegan who bring you all of the foods you never knew but always hoped were vegan!

If you don’t want to be vegan or you think I’m talking rubbish, that’s okay and I wont take offence to it 🙂

Happy Tuesday!

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Suspicious minds.

I just wanted to share a little experience I had today. 

I phoned a taxi after work, (I work in a bar/restaurant in Glasgow’s west end called Velvet Elvis) to my home in Paisley, which is a good 10/15 minute car journey depending on the route.

The taxi arrives and I get in, always hoping for friendly chatty taxi drivers, before I’d even got fully into the car, this driver says ‘How you doin’?!’ in such a friendly way that makes me very pleased.

I get in, tell him where I’m headed and he starts with all these Elvis puns,

“That’s you left the building”

So I was giving them back,

“I know this rain’s really messing up my blue suede shoes”

We had a wee giggle and then chat gets onto music, he’s in a band who play every Saturday in The Trossachs and he’s from Luss. We chat about some music and then he tells me a story.

He had a wee granny flat attached to his house, which just became the dumping ground of the house. Him and his wife really wanted to turn it into a hospitality area with a bar for them and their friends (I don’t imagine the Luss nightlife to be particularly wild!), and he had asked two guys he knew who were labourers if they could do the work for him. Obviously the cost of all of the fixtures and fittings and labour would be massive so him and his wife decided not to go ahead with it and leave things as they were.

Then he said the labourers got in touch with him and said that they had been laid off their jobs and that they had all the stuff to do the project and would only ask for £400 each for the whole job. He only had £600 to his name at this point but said yes to them, and that he would find the rest of the money somehow. It was to be a surprise for his wife’s Christmas. He bought his wife the most dull gifts for Christmas, knowing that she would love what he had actually done. She’s a teacher, so the workers would come in while she was away at work. There was a skip outside the house and he asked the neighbours to tell her, sorry but it was theirs. He kept all the blinds drawn once it was ready, and on the 26th December, he invited over all of her friends from work for a party and unveiled it to her.

Now, he showed me photos of this place, it was amazing! This was back in 2008, but it looks so modern. There’s a bar with the proper fitted fridges like you would find in an actual bar, he has a wee studio set up and sofas, a massive telly, karaoke, swanky bar stools, hardwood floors. He’s obviously added to it over the years, but this guy was the nicest, friendliest, happiest most grateful guy I have met in a long while and I just felt like he deserved it.

He told me he didn’t worry about the little things, he was lovely and kind to people even if they weren’t the same to him and it all made sense. The guys who did the work for him obviously could have got more money elsewhere, but they could see it was a great project and a lovely thing to do that would make him and his wife be happy. And after all, £400 is better than nothing if you’ve just been laid off. It was a lovely story and it really looked like a wonderful place!

We talked a bit about how when you are kind, positive, honest and happy in general, even when the shit hits the fan, your life is generally better.

The whole trip to Paisley we were smiling and laughing,and he very kindly gave me a lower fare than it should have been. As I was getting up to leave, he said

“Ohhh would you listen to that! There’s Elvis on the radio!”

And it was.

Bloody Elvis on the local radio station.

🙂

Have a lovely day! Try smile a bit more at all the bad things and you’ll notice there’s a lot more good stuff surrounding you!

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When did it become okay to tell someone you don’t like how they look?

NEVER.

It never became okay!

I’ve noticed a recent increase in people commenting on how I look and giving me their quite frankly unwanted opinions on my personal decisions.

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So let me clear this up: this is for all the unwanted hair-touchers, prodders and outspoken opinion makers who I’m sure we have all encountered, and maybe if you realise you have done this you can see how rude and inappropriate you have been.

Respect is the biggest lesson to be learnt here.

Here’s 5 things all arseholes don’t realise:

  • Touching a strangers hair is inappropriate & unwelcome attention.

I cannot really find anyway to make touching a strangers hair an appropriate way to greet someone, so first of all please don’t  do it on a whim because you don’t understand it, and second of all please just don’t ask to do it. Go home and Google it or something. Most people are happy to answer any questions you have, but please don’t interrupt my private conversations. The amount of times I’ve been interrupted by a random hair toucher is unreal! I would NEVER interrupt someone to ask a dumb question so STOP IT NOW!

  • Just because I look different doesn’t  mean I want to talk to you about it

You cannot comprehend how many times I have been asked ‘What do your tattoos mean?’

I don’t ask what your hairdo means or your clothes, really please just leave me alone.

To me it’s mainly decoration, and any that I have that do mean something, what do I owe to you to tell you?

It’s not a strangers business so back the fuck up.

  • People with tattoos think its a way to relate to me:

Okay, so you have tattoos, I have tattoos, that’s great, I still don’t want to talk about mine, so please stand here and tell me for hours about how and when and where you got yours and I can try slowly slither away out of earshot. Holy Christ. I don’t wanna talk about it.

(This one is probably the bane of my life.)

  • You don’t like my hair/tattoos/piercings/image/style and feel an unbearable need to let me know:

I don’t judge you or comment on your life, so please keep your thoughts to yourself. I have a partner and I am very happy and content. I don’t need your approval and I am very aware of my life choices. It doesn’t bother me if you don’t like something about me, but I would certainly never feel the need to tell anyone friend or stranger something about their image that I personally didn’t like. Keep it to yourself! How rude of you! Live and let live!

  • You need to let me know that I’m probably going to regret that:

Oh yeah, so I never realised until you mentioned that it’s permanent.

Yeah I’ll totes regret it.

I hate your face!

(jokes)

So, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t understand why people think its okay to comment, is it because they think I want the attention? I genuinely think that some people assume that if you have tattoos and piercings and ‘mad’ hair you are doing it for attention, well you are very wrong.

I along with most other people who are seen as alternative are just being who we are.

I understand why people ask about these things but most of the time I get asked in a very rude manner. I worded this post in a jokey manner to try keep it fun. I am never rude to people who do ask me about things, but I would live a simpler life without this hassle as I’m sure a lot of people would too.

I choose to live my life this way and I like to decorate my body, I would never dream of asking someone why they don’t have body modifications so please give us a break and realise that we don’t all live our lives  in the same way!

* as a back note I’d like to say that I understand genuine human curiosity and that I can respect that and I can tell the people who are genuinely curious from the invasive rude people! Most of you are just lovely, it’s just a small percentage that lets us down.

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Don’t let your emotions rule you.

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The day these photos were taken are very important.

This was my 26th birthday party in September 2012 in Barcelona, and most importantly, the morning before these photos were taken, I wanted to kill myself.

I look at these now and can see that I do not look like someone who felt that way, but I did.

At this point, I had reached rock bottom, again.

I want people who feel like ending their lives, to know that tomorrow is always better, and if you don’t believe me then hold off cos there’s next Tuesday, next month, next year or something to look forward to, and slowly but surely you can build your life back up. If that’s not enough imagine how many people will suffer because of you.

Suck it up and stay alive.

Don’t do it, because life is full of ups and downs and it is a chemical imbalance. You aren’t thinking clearly and lets suppose you have one chance at life on earth so you better try make the most of it. Who knows what you’ll miss out on.

Please don’t do it.

The ones who love you save you.

Sometimes you cant see them but they are there.

For once I don’t think I can write any more about this so I’ll leave it at that, and with the thought,

‘Our greatest glory lies not in never failing, but instead rising up everytime we fall’

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I just want to make a house, with our hands.

I just want to find a place, a beach.

I just want to make a house, with our hands.

I just want to hold the earth and squeeze it tight.

I want to hold you in my arms, surrounded by the ground that we made into a home.

I want to see you everyday.

I want to taste new tastes with you.

I want to wake up with you.

I want to wander around.

I want to wonder.

I wonder.

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Lets wander the lands whilst we can, and please, kiss me.

Always, kiss me.

I love you and I want you to hold my hand forever.

No-one else can hold me like you do.

No-one else can make me laugh like you do.

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“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

We all know what will make us happy and successful in the long term, but we often choose the quick, easy & temporary fix.

For example, sleeping in real late ( I’m so guilty of this) rather than getting up and doing things that long term make our life easier &  feel good and less stressed out.

If I write a list of what I really want and what makes me happy, none of them (really) involve lying in every day, it should be a nice treat and I know that deep down.

I think it’s important to write down the things that make you really buzz and feel ALIVE in order to head on the path to your dream life.

So here’s my list.

*Everyone’s is different, but here’s a wee snippet of some of mine*

  • Being around my friends SOBER, giggling a good hearty laugh, hanging out with my boy & the obvious 😉
  • Babbling over numerous cups of tea( especially with my pal Dani, long overdue mate!) for hours on end, and not realising the time.
  • Exploring new places & travelling the world. The beaches, the sun, the language, the flavours. Feeling the heat on my skin, the smell of a tan, and the feeling of freedom and opportunity.
  • Drawing, creating unique art, showcasing your vision of your world. Writing and inspiring.
  • Burlesque, watching performers, performing and creating routines. The buzz of the stage, it gets me every time and I remember why the nerves were worth it.
  • Running & yoga. I bloody love these two things ESPECIALLY. Why am I not doing them regularly?!
  • Eating fresh, healthy, earthy cruelty free food & nourishing my body. This was one of the key factors in my recovery from numerous almost fatal eating disorders and I could not be more thankful for my path on vegan-ism.

We are all connected.

One person making a few changes in their life which alters their happiness & therefore changes their perception of the world without a doubt also affects the people around them.

So, me changing a few aspects of my life can then in turn easily affect my parents life for the better. They know that I feel good and they have one less thing to worry about or feel responsible and more to feel proud of. In turn, surely their friends/partners/relatives/colleagues notice this change and it acts like a sort of  chain reaction. My encounters with everyone would also be much more positive and so it would spread to people they meet & know too.

If I am down and not taking positive steps forward in my life, then when I have say, a negative encounter with a customer at work, then I may be more susceptible to take that personally. If I am truly content and secure, then I will have the clarity and the ability to know that the customers negative actions are in fact not at all my fault or responsibility and therefore will not affect me. In theory, preventing anybody else’s troubles becoming or adding to mine. This makes perfect sense (to me, anyway). I hope you’re still with me.

The best thing to do to be happy and fulfilled is pretty obvious and we all know deep down….

Do the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled.

(On a side note, when I write these things, it’s kinda like I’m teaching myself what I already know,but don’t put into action. I’m not writing this as if I’m a pro and do all these things, but really instead as a collection of my thoughts that I know I need to collect and articulate and share, to help myself. This is my therapy, and hopefully it helps you too. )

So here’s some tips. 

  • If you dislike your current situation, write down things you often do & how they make you feel both long-term and short-term. For example: ‘I work hard all week so I go out on a Friday & Saturday and get absolutely blootered’ (Scottish for drunk, very drunk!) and note how you feel at the time and then how you feel by Monday. Long-term, is that sustainable and are you reaching your goals through repeating that every week? Focus on the ones that make you feel good both short term and long term, they’re keepers!
  • Do you justify your actions because ‘everyone’ else does it.? Truth is, everyone else probably doesn’t. At least not the successful ones.
  • Think of alternatives. If there’s things you can change to give yourself a happy balance, then work on that. Don’t cut out everything you love if it doesn’t have good long-term gain. Go out one night a week instead of two, you’ll appreciate it more, just like that lie in. Change your job to one you enjoy more even if it’s less pay. You’ll be happier in general and not be spending so much money on material crap to try make your life bearable outside of work.

I’ll leave it at that for now, but I’ll maybe revisit this topic again soon!

I hope this helped you to focus on being a wee bit more in control of your life and reaching your goals.

Much love ❤

 

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“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s that time of year when everyone has been stressed out with Christmas, even me, who has a very understanding and carefree family. Even so, I have been mega stressed out the last few months (more so than usual.)

I try to be calm, but is it true that people who are very creative and aware struggle a lot during these times?

I feel like an alien often, I cannot understand how such a consumerist lifestyle has become so accepted. I cant get my head around it. I feel crazy for just wanting to say no to it all. Is it not enough that I love and care for everyone around me? Do I have to buy people  things to let them know I love them? Actions speak louder than words for sure, and not everyone can buy fancy things for their loved ones.

In the last few years Christmas has become hard for me, I am a bit of a perfectionist and I like to make things for people but if I don’t think something is good enough I won’t give what I’ve created. I always feel like a disappointment at Christmas, because there are not enough hours in the day to create something perfect enough for everyone I love. I therefore have to rely on the fact that hopefully they know that i love them so much, no bought gift could say it and nothing I can create is perfect enough for them.

In the last few months I have realised that what happens is a panic attack. I seize up and panic, cry and cant breathe, and I haven’t understood this for years, but now I know,  this happens for me especially before or during events like Christmas where I feel like I have to be so organized and perfect.

This is the kinda time where people often reflect on their year, and on reflection this year was one of the roughest times, following on from some really rough years before that too… I am learning and growing, I’m trying so hard, I want to be healthy and well, I want to forget my demons of the past, but it’s not about that I suppose. Without all of these past experiences I wouldn’t be who I am now. I know I’m not the best person, I know I’m not the best me, and I could be better, but I also know that every experience has altered my perception and I’ve learnt.  I don’t hold grudges. If you hate me, I wish you love, If you love me or don’t know me, I wish you love, I genuinely do. I feel like the awkward person in the room. I’ve always been different and I always will be, but I guess you have to embrace it. There’s no other option really.

I don’t mean to be nasty or mean and I’d never try to hurt someone intentionally, but sometimes you get into situations where there’s confusion, and aloofness is not always the best trait to have. I’ve always wished I was more assertive, that I could let my fire out, because I feel like I have sat and taken so much shit from people in my life and been a walkover. If only I could stand up for myself, because deep down I really believed in me. But I don’t, I am so insecure and it drives me crazy. I look and act on the whole like someone who is very confident and secure and the majority of the time I am not.

I also find that when I am alone, anxiety is at its worst, but once I’m around friends/family I become an entertainer of sorts, I embrace this opportunity to have fun. But you cant always be surrounded by people and you most definitely cannot rely on anyone other than yourself for happiness.

One of the most vital things I have learnt over the last few years is to be happy for others, no matter what the circumstance.

It takes nothing to give a good intention. Often those who are mean to you or aggravate you are most in need of some love. This is true and I know this first hand, because whenever I am crabbit as hell, it is when I am most in need of love from others.

Don’t hold grudges.

Don’t judge people on one encounter.

None of us are perfect, we all have our moments of weakness where the facade falls. I pride myself on being happy and fun, but I can’t always do that. I cant always be a perfect person.

No-one is perfect.

It doesn’t exist!

The most beautiful thing in life is how different everyone is, the most interesting people to me aren’t trying to be cool, they just see things a bit different to the norm.

It doesn’t matter who you are to other people, you are you, you are special and unique, and there are people who love every ounce of your being.

I promise.

I get sad.

I feel like I hate myself at times.

I get angry.

I cant get out of bed.

I feel inferior.

I don’t want to talk.

This is not the point in this post, but I do think that it is an important point to note that the internet is an amazing tool, but that people can choose what parts of their life are shown. You choose to highlight your strengths of course.

This Christmas I was overwhelmed, I felt like I was given too much, like my family expect more of me, and now I have so much to live up to.

I am a teeny little panicky anxious thing stuck inside the body of a confident 28 year old and I don’t know what to do.

I am not the man I was yesterday.

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

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