Tag Archives: christmas

HAPPY. CONTENT. POSITIVE. SHOULD BE STRESSED?

16195364_10155086869747868_3920677870167286870_n

Grey’s Bay, Bowen

Lately things have been kinda stressful, especially if I take a step back, looking from the outward in, but from my point of view, (especially or mainly due to the daily yoga practice I’ve been doing since January 1st) I don’t feel stressed, although I know there are some pressing matters that I should probably feel pretty darn stressed about.

Do you ever feel like you should feel stressed, like almost society says you should be stressed out by something and so you kind of play it out?

I haven’t done that so far, apart from acknowledging that I am in a potentially stressful place if I choose to accept it. I’m going to be brutally honest here.

16559132_10155123903552868_13656560_nI have less money in the bank than I am comfortable with, although I have no debts, no credit cards, no mortgage to pay off, so in many ways I am in fact free-er than the average home owner. (except I don’t have the joy of owning a home!)

Last year I earned more money than I think I have any other year of my life, I felt rich! I had a steady income, worked my butt off and was very happy. I’m glad for that as it helped me to make so many precious memories and journeys. I have lived work-free on and off for many months, living a life of luxury!  (Mainly because of lack of work not from choice!)

However, I have a visa to renew before November costing nearly $7000 aud.

It is looming over me.

I am working to a bit of a deadline, but there is a need that I must fulfil, I have to make it happen as no one else can. So, here goes, I’m gonna do my darnedest to create the life we want.

The biggest problem I’ve faced so far is that being on a working holiday visa, commonly known as a backpacker visa, means that any full time work I apply for is instantly rejected and so I am constantly applying for jobs, and if I get far enough then going to interviews and finally  being rejected when they find out my visa situation. It gets slightly disheartening, but I won’t stop trying!

It’s a catch 22 situation, no work because of my visa and no new visa applied for yet, because I don’t have the money to apply for it.

Anyway, my point is that I am trying out this new thing, called “Not freaking out about things.” I am just trying my best, staying positive, and taking whatever casual work I can to keep us afloat, which will hopefully lead to something more permanent. I have found that keeping tabs on my positivity levels and staying happy and thankful for what I have, makes me way more productive and likely to be able to get through any challenging times.

16265623_10155074687152868_5119030073972085394_n

Murray’s Bay, Bowen

After my visa comes through (Please accept me Australia!), we have big plans for the longterm. Buy a property to renovate eventually, (possibly where we are living now, in Bowen, possibly not) have our own boat and live in North Queensland with some beautiful dogs in a GORGEOUS place near to the beach that we’ve made our own. Our door always open to parents, siblings, friends and naughty nieces & nephews to visit.

Oohhh I can just see it all!

Side Note: (Say HELLO to ZEUS, the little puppy we are adopting, who will be ours on Saturday!)

16652863_10155123903447868_1608209841_n

Our new family member, Zeus

So that’s the dream! We’ve found our little piece of heaven in each other and now it’s time to make it our home!

16708280_10155143176082868_1264138703269980855_n

Dingo Beach

Definitely a time to remember that making your dreams a reality isn’t always easy, but it’s worth a try.

You just gotta take it one step at a time.

My top five stress relieving tips:

  1. Daily exercise routine. No matter how much time you have to spare, take a little time out of your day even if it’s just 10 minutes to do a short relaxation yoga or meditation video on Youtube, or going for a short walk. You’ll often want to do more than you’ve planned on once there, and if not that’s okay. This will also help you sleep better as it really clears your mind and is a natural stress reliever. I highly recommend Yoga With Adriene’s videos.
  2. Following on from the last point, Sleep! I can be a terrible sleeper especially when I know I have something important to do the next day. It always seems to be once my head hits the pillow all of my worries crawl out of the shadows. I try to encourage a good nights sleep for myself by being productive during the day, keeping a notebook and pen beside my bed to jot down anything I remember I need to do and preparing what I’ll need for the next day – even just laying out my outfit and shoes, or re-organising my handbag helps me. A cup of tea also helps me to unwind and chill out. If I wake up in the night or can’t sleep, I go to the toilet, drink some water, write down whatever is bothering me and try again.
  3. Talk to someone. I find just voicing my fears or troubles to someone close to me can help to understand things from another perspective and it also helps to feel supported, receive suggestions and to help come up with solutions. It really helps to feel less alone. Everyone gets stressed out and if you meet up with a friend to do something fun such as go out for a walk or lunch for a chat, or have someone over for movies or drinks, then you can feel some clarity whilst having fun, which can help to eradicate negative emotions surrounding you. You may also realise that your positive friend has some stressful situations going on in their life and that can put your issues into perspective
  4. Tidy up your life. If you’re already stressed, it certainly doesn’t help to be surrounded by chaos, and I find that organising my clothes or even just hoovering and cleaning a little helps to make me feel less stressed out. You know where everything is and it feels calming to be in a nice environment and while that certainly doesn’t fix the reason you are stressing out, it definitely helps you to focus on what is important. Writing lists, making a bullet journal, buying a fancy new notebook to make plans in or even just pampering yourself a little can definitely help. I bought a new Doona cover the other day from Woolies on sale for $10, it has brightened up our bedroom and I definitely have been feeling happier and more relaxed from such a simple difference.
  5. Change it up. As Einstein said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results” I’m a big believer in moving out of your comfort zone, even if you don’t like it, at least you tried. If you are scared of flying then maybe book a fun trip with friends, if you  hate your job or where you live then why not go volunteer or teach abroad for a few months, if you are sad about being unfit why not join the gym or make up your own fitness regime. Sadly it can be easier to come up with excuses. Something that sometimes helps me, as strange as it sounds to say it, I think of life like a challenge. I don’t want the game to be over and for me to still be on level one. I want to have felt emotions, been places, met people, been scared, got stronger, pushed myself. There is a danger of living a slightly boring existence full of regrets if you don’t push out of your comfort zone. And remember that it is NEVER too late to start. Sometimes when life is frustrating and you feel you are getting nowhere, you have to light it up yourself. You’ll be waiting a long time if you expect anybody else to make a change happen aside from you.

14079660_10154592587352868_1921025694894718414_n

Thank you so much for reading, I hope it helps if you are feeling a little stressed out at the moment.

Lots of love,

Hippy Hoo Ha x

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Saying Yes and De-Stressing

sayyesadventures

It has been nearly 5 months since my last update and there is so much to catch up on!

We left Darwin in late October for the Sunshine Coast and travelled down over the course of about four days. We left Darwin in a little bit of a hurry as Stu had a job offer down the coast and we needed to arrive within five days. He got the phone call at about 2pm that day and we packed up all of our belongings into the car and left the next morning at 6am to been our 3500km journey.

Here’s a video I created documenting that trip.

We were headed to Stu’s friend Simon’s home, which he shares with his wonderful wife Judy ( Who at this point I had never met, and now I consider a good friend) & their three children. They were kind enough to offer us their spare room in their lovely house in Currimundi near Caloundra, until we found our feet.

15697579_10154976375362868_5532839923072106073_n

Simon & Judy on Christmas Day

The feet didn’t take long to get found and we ended up only staying with them for one week, after we found a beautiful Queenslander on the gorgeous Bribie Island to stay in with the owner, a lovely lady called Chloe and her Kelpie cross Border Collie pup, Boris.

14716195_10154774799002868_2740674283636236305_n

Boris

The location was beautiful and it was handy to still meet up with Simon and Judy at the weekends as Bribie Island is only around an hour away from Currimundi. Bribie Island is a little piece of heaven, a beautiful island off the Sunshine Coast near(ish) to Brisbane, connected to the mainland by a large road bridge and easy walking distance to all your amenities. In fact the majority of Bribie Island is made up of National Park Land. The downside to this being that it is a very desirable place to live, especially for the older generation, and the people and houses are all compacted down to one end. In fact as beautiful as it is, it is known as an above-ground graveyard within the surrounding area.

It proved near impossible for me to find work, being a small place with far more people than job opportunities, plus the fact I definitely feel employers are put off when they see the applicant is on a working holiday visa.

I felt depression creep back into my life whilst living there, which is quite remarkable considering it was such a beautiful breathtaking place. I felt so blessed to have the opportunity to live there, but not being able to find work really took its toll on me. I felt like I had failed.

Eventually after eating into our savings for nearly a month,  Stu & I decided it was time to move on. He no longer wanted to stay working a job he didn’t like for a poorly run business  and to be honest I was happy and excited to hit the road again.

It was now mid-November, We spent around a week trying to find work somewhere new, basically anywhere in Australia, (although we really wanted to stay in Queensland if possible) and after searching all over the internet on every job website, dozens of emails and phone calls later we found a job working for Manbulloo mangoes who provide Mangoes to Coles (One of the biggest supermarkets in Australia). This job opportunity meant us driving from Bribie Island to a (tiny) place called Giru nestled somewhere between Ayr and Townsville in North Queensland, around a 1300km drive. With no idea where we would stay or what the work would be like we took a chance, packed our lives up into the car once again and took a big dive into the unknown.

I was looking forward to seeing a new place, and meeting some new faces, I was determined that I would make the most of this adventure and pull myself out of whatever rut I had started to fall into.

We decided this time to do an all-night drive, so we spent the day packing up the car, drank copious amounts of coffee and finally we left around 10pm that evening. Around about 5am the next day Stu was getting extremely tired and he doesn’t like me driving on long journeys, (that’s a whole other story though) so we pulled into a rest stop for an hour. He had a nap and I have to admit, I was so incredibly grumpy on this trip. I’m sure any member of my family could tell you that when I haven’t slept I am a very grumpy lady. Public apology to anyone who has encountered sleepy Morv! I felt like I had to stay up to keep Stu awake, so I consumed way too much caffeine and it prevented me from sleeping at all the whole trip.

16142581_10155074688142868_7846666433048971644_n

Leaving Bribie, crossing the bridge to the mainland.

At one point we were coming over a steep hill at around 3/4am and there was a massive road train behind us, he had been sitting right up behind us for  a few kms and then on a blind hill he decided to flash us (we were doing the speed limit), and then begin to overtake us not knowing if anything was coming the other direction. There was a steep drop off to our left, I totally panicked, and Stu slowed down, as we were pretty much forced to. This driver then pulled himself in front of us rapidly and his back end nearly whipped us off the road, I am not even joking, I thought we were gonna get swept off the road, we pulled back and he narrowly missed us by a hair, our hearts were racing as we came over the top of the blind hill and then see another truck coming on the other side of the road. If it had come a few seconds sooner, I swear we’d all have been dead.

How irresponsible. What a selfish act of driving. Maybe the truck driver has children, would they want people to do that to a car with their children or partner inside? He/she put everyones life in danger that night and we were shook up for the remainder of the journey.

Everyone makes mistakes though, so hopefully it was just an error in judgement.

Here’s a video I made of the trip from Sunshine Coast to Giru (via a one night stay in Bowen) where we lived and worked for a month.

We went via Bowen, where Stu grew up as it was on the way and he gave me a quick tour. As we had made good time, we arrived there around about 1/2pm we decided to set-up-swag in the Horseshoe Bay Caravan Park as you are not allowed to free camp anywhere around Bowen such as on beaches etc.

15095475_10154865508702868_4789670897641622515_n

Enjoying a beer at Horseshoe Bay after a very long drive overnight.

I absolutely loved Bowen! We stayed one night and then the next day we had to drive to Giru, further North. We sussed out where our new work place was and then called up places looking for some cheap accomodation for the upcoming month. The cabins in caravan parks nearby were charging ridiculous rates per week, for the same money you could have rented a 5 bedroom Queenslander near the beach. As Giru is in the middle of nowhere, it’s just off the main highway with a large sugar cane factory works (sugar cane processing stinks FYI) there’s not too many options unless we wanted to stay in Ayr which we did not and we definitely weren’t willing to stay at a backpackers hostel, no offence to  those who do, both me and Stu have done it before, but we value our own space and freedom too much now to go back to it  (plus, I’ve heard some horror stories).

We managed to find an absolute gem off the highway, a crumbly sign for an Eco-Tourist Park looked intriguing and was only 10 minutes from the mango shed. As we drove in, it was certainly eco – thousands of wallabies everywhere, a little run down but it sat under a beautiful mountain range and was lush and green and more importantly away from too many people. Here we met Fred, originally from Germany, a 90 year old man who had cleared this piece of land with his young family when he was in his 20’s. He was such a genuine, straight up, wonderful man. He told us many a tale of his past, showed us through old photo albums and told us that we were the most respectful, nicest couple he had stay in the park for over ten years.

16142433_10155074687862868_459194743810148879_n

At nearby Billabong Sanctuary

 

He had only one caravan available on site, it looked pretty big and had a massive canvas annexe attached, as we stepped inside it was clear it had been empty for a while, it had a smell about it that I still can’t put my finger on, but hey, who cares we thought, we’ll take it! After a fair amount of Nag Champa had been burned, floors had been swept, everything cleaned and dinners had been cooked, it no longer smelt stale, and we had our own little cute pad for the next month.

We also made some pals in the park, all of which were furry. Possums regularly woke me up in the night climbing on the caravan, one of which had made his home between a tin roof and the top of the caravan, which I’m pretty sure is why he crawled inside the annexe desperate for water a few times. It got real hot here, and I’m glad we could help the wee guys. We fed the wallabies and possums mangoes that had gone too soft for eating, and they became regular fixtures at our front ‘garden’. We really enjoyed living here and Fred was excellent to have a chat with each week when we went in to pay our rent. Most of the other residents here were contractors we never really saw anyone to speak to them, everyone was doing seasonal work and was either working or sleeping, which made it such a beautiful and peaceful place. We took some time out after work one day to go for a local bush walk to the local rock slide, and that was amazing.

16174951_10155074687642868_3261083327004374039_n

One of our possum pals who came to see us for some water

We worked at the mango shed until around the 20th December by which time we were both so over it. At some points we were doing 70+ hour weeks and getting paid really awful wages, especially since the more you work the more you get taxed. One massive bonus of working there though was the amount of delicious mangoes we got to consume, and we made some delicious mango chutney to give as Christmas gifts, which went down very well with Simons family!

16265365_10155074687937868_5637746229429164642_n

Stu enjoying playing guitar in the spacious annexe

I painted this picture to give to Fred the Eco-tourist park owner, we had many chats about the commercialism of Christmas and as we wanted to give him something, I decided on making him a gift using up some of the paints and canvasses that we have been carting around Australia with us! He loved it. His eyesight is not great so I think he really appreciated the bold lines and colours.15665964_10154966618922868_1580557610874393212_n

We decided we would go back to Bowen for Christmas, so once again without knowing too much about where we would stay, we packed up our lives and headed to Bowen. Luckily I looked on Gumtree and I found an old advert from September still up, from a guy looking for a housemate in his four bedroom Queenslander. I took a stab in the dark, as it was the 23rd December at this point, I messaged him and he said he would be happy for us to drop in and see him.

Feeling a bit like Mary & Joseph, we did, and he let us move in that day.

We are extremely lucky to live with the aforementioned, Liam, we’ve been on a good few adventures so far, lots of snorkelling, bbq’s and a boat trip. It is so nice to live with someone and have that social aspect there too.

Thanks Liam!

15672736_10154987641727868_3933934491393462475_n

At Mother Beddick in Bowen

Stu knows his friend Simon from Bowen, as they were a pair of bloody terrors when they were kids, running rampant around the neighbourhood, or so I’ve heard, so Simon and Judy (who’s also from Bowen) were coming up for a big family Christmas. We were lucky enough for them to invite us along for Christmas Day with the whole family which was just lovely and so nice to see everyone again. We spent the day by the pool and the night dancing our butts off.

15741069_10154983934772868_3450275299448696743_n

Judy & I having a girly day eating lunch and drinking pints!

We organised to meet up with our awesome friends Anna & Trev, who we worked with at TFS the Sandalwood Plantation in the NT, for New Year, and decided to head to Hydeaway Bay. They brought one of their older dogs Buster, their teenage pup Boogie, and their new lil’ baby pup Trip. We had an awesome weekend with them down at the beach, snorkelling and camping.

A brilliant way to bring in a new year!

16114601_10155074687452868_5562201160838847426_n

Trip hitching’ a lift

We were sitting on the beach around 8.30pm on New Years Eve (Saying “Hogmanaaaay” was a running joke at New Years as my Aussie friends had never heard of it before) with a fire burning and two men began to approach us, we were the only people on the beach, so we thought maybe we would get told to put the fire out, but instead they asked if it was okay if they set off some fireworks near us. We were front row seat to a show of fireworks at 9pm, and luckily we had chilled Prosecco to pair it with.

It was so perfect.

16142305_10155074687512868_8699444421630941453_n

Happy to be here

Then I had another amazing surprise happen! My darling friend Louise who I met whilst travelling in South America, and with whom I ended up travelling with for three months AND who became a HUGE part of my life messaged me to say she was in Australia and could she come visit me. It was so lovely to have her stay for a couple of days, and really made me realise how many amazing people I have been lucky enough to meet and be able to call my friends.

16265896_10155074686612868_4615530536723156919_n

Louise is a beautiful mermaid

Stu and I are still currently loving life in beautiful Bowen, and awaiting the next adventure to unfold. I’ll keep you updated.

16114882_10155074687392868_7066741472359802949_n

NYE kisses

16265623_10155074687152868_5119030073972085394_n

Murray’s Bay, Bowen

My observations for 2016/2017

I have had an amazing start to the New Year, which kind of just rolled over from the whole of 2016 being so bloody interesting and exciting.

After we finished work at the Mango shed, I really wanted to get back into my fitness and so once we were back in a place with some reliable fast internet, I started doing yoga workouts with my favourite instructor Yoga With Adriene from the comfort of an air-conditioned spare room. I started to do around 3-4 sessions per week, and I also signed up for Bowen Parkrun, of which I have only done one (on Christmas Eve) as it is so hot even though they do them early in the morning, it was the hardest 5km run I think I have ever done!

15697891_10154971517817868_244668108430530559_n

Feeling pooped after the Parkrun on Christmas Eve

Then, Yoga with Adriene created Yoga Revolution which is 31 days of daily yoga videos from the 1st to the 31st of January, I got really excited and signed up straight away. It has been so interesting to do yoga everyday. At one point in fact I wanted to go to India ( I nearly did & still do want to) to do my yoga teacher training. It’s had a wonderful effect on my mind and my body. I like to do it in the mornings and it really sets me up for the day in the best state of mind. Even when I don’t feel like it, I still turn up to the mat and never have I once regretted doing so (we’re on day 23 so far).

16266228_10155074686477868_874726978339231300_nYou can still do Yoga Revolution at any time, and just work your way through from day 1 to day 31. I really recommend it and you can go as hard or as gentle as you like.

I’ve noticed something that’s changed in my life in the last year too, I used to be a kinda messy/lazy person. I’m not really at all like that anymore, don’t get me wrong I have lazy days, but I love to keep everything clean and tidy, I get such satisfaction from a clean kitchen, a tidy room, a hoovered floor and organisation, it makes me feel more at peace. I don’t feel stressed out about where things are, I can find everything in its place and it’s all clean and ready to go when I need it. I wish I’d discovered that one a good few years ago! I like to be spontaneous, so if someone wants to do something last minute I can just say yeah sure give me 5 and I can easily have everything I need to go ready. It’s made a huge impact on my levels of stress.

I’ve decided not to make any New Years Resolutions. I just know I want to feel good this year like I did the last, I’m not going to define things too definitely by years either as I suppose really there is literally one second between them.

16105858_10155063852247868_464076504233472795_n

Stu looking hawt

I definitely agree that it’s good to see your progress and track it somehow, so it makes me thankful to have this (slightly neglected) blog on which I can reflect on life, and see how things have changed over the years.

What are your observations of positive changes to your life over the past year? I’d love to hear other peoples points of view!

If there’s one piece of advice I could give, it would be to definitely do things that scare you. They are usually the things worth doing. Follow that little desire at the back of your mind, which seems impossible now, and make steps towards it becoming a real experience. 

16195118_10155074686527868_378870858987172964_n

Much love and thank you for reading!

16195449_10155074687662868_2033961836158386431_n

Much love from my Wombat friend

Morv x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When did it become okay to tell someone you don’t like how they look?

NEVER.

It never became okay!

I’ve noticed a recent increase in people commenting on how I look and giving me their quite frankly unwanted opinions on my personal decisions.

11371238_1442648612704008_1777552143_n

So let me clear this up: this is for all the unwanted hair-touchers, prodders and outspoken opinion makers who I’m sure we have all encountered, and maybe if you realise you have done this you can see how rude and inappropriate you have been.

Respect is the biggest lesson to be learnt here.

Here’s 5 things all arseholes don’t realise:

  • Touching a strangers hair is inappropriate & unwelcome attention.

I cannot really find anyway to make touching a strangers hair an appropriate way to greet someone, so first of all please don’t  do it on a whim because you don’t understand it, and second of all please just don’t ask to do it. Go home and Google it or something. Most people are happy to answer any questions you have, but please don’t interrupt my private conversations. The amount of times I’ve been interrupted by a random hair toucher is unreal! I would NEVER interrupt someone to ask a dumb question so STOP IT NOW!

  • Just because I look different doesn’t  mean I want to talk to you about it

You cannot comprehend how many times I have been asked ‘What do your tattoos mean?’

I don’t ask what your hairdo means or your clothes, really please just leave me alone.

To me it’s mainly decoration, and any that I have that do mean something, what do I owe to you to tell you?

It’s not a strangers business so back the fuck up.

  • People with tattoos think its a way to relate to me:

Okay, so you have tattoos, I have tattoos, that’s great, I still don’t want to talk about mine, so please stand here and tell me for hours about how and when and where you got yours and I can try slowly slither away out of earshot. Holy Christ. I don’t wanna talk about it.

(This one is probably the bane of my life.)

  • You don’t like my hair/tattoos/piercings/image/style and feel an unbearable need to let me know:

I don’t judge you or comment on your life, so please keep your thoughts to yourself. I have a partner and I am very happy and content. I don’t need your approval and I am very aware of my life choices. It doesn’t bother me if you don’t like something about me, but I would certainly never feel the need to tell anyone friend or stranger something about their image that I personally didn’t like. Keep it to yourself! How rude of you! Live and let live!

  • You need to let me know that I’m probably going to regret that:

Oh yeah, so I never realised until you mentioned that it’s permanent.

Yeah I’ll totes regret it.

I hate your face!

(jokes)

So, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t understand why people think its okay to comment, is it because they think I want the attention? I genuinely think that some people assume that if you have tattoos and piercings and ‘mad’ hair you are doing it for attention, well you are very wrong.

I along with most other people who are seen as alternative are just being who we are.

I understand why people ask about these things but most of the time I get asked in a very rude manner. I worded this post in a jokey manner to try keep it fun. I am never rude to people who do ask me about things, but I would live a simpler life without this hassle as I’m sure a lot of people would too.

I choose to live my life this way and I like to decorate my body, I would never dream of asking someone why they don’t have body modifications so please give us a break and realise that we don’t all live our lives  in the same way!

* as a back note I’d like to say that I understand genuine human curiosity and that I can respect that and I can tell the people who are genuinely curious from the invasive rude people! Most of you are just lovely, it’s just a small percentage that lets us down.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s that time of year when everyone has been stressed out with Christmas, even me, who has a very understanding and carefree family. Even so, I have been mega stressed out the last few months (more so than usual.)

I try to be calm, but is it true that people who are very creative and aware struggle a lot during these times?

I feel like an alien often, I cannot understand how such a consumerist lifestyle has become so accepted. I cant get my head around it. I feel crazy for just wanting to say no to it all. Is it not enough that I love and care for everyone around me? Do I have to buy people  things to let them know I love them? Actions speak louder than words for sure, and not everyone can buy fancy things for their loved ones.

In the last few years Christmas has become hard for me, I am a bit of a perfectionist and I like to make things for people but if I don’t think something is good enough I won’t give what I’ve created. I always feel like a disappointment at Christmas, because there are not enough hours in the day to create something perfect enough for everyone I love. I therefore have to rely on the fact that hopefully they know that i love them so much, no bought gift could say it and nothing I can create is perfect enough for them.

In the last few months I have realised that what happens is a panic attack. I seize up and panic, cry and cant breathe, and I haven’t understood this for years, but now I know,  this happens for me especially before or during events like Christmas where I feel like I have to be so organized and perfect.

This is the kinda time where people often reflect on their year, and on reflection this year was one of the roughest times, following on from some really rough years before that too… I am learning and growing, I’m trying so hard, I want to be healthy and well, I want to forget my demons of the past, but it’s not about that I suppose. Without all of these past experiences I wouldn’t be who I am now. I know I’m not the best person, I know I’m not the best me, and I could be better, but I also know that every experience has altered my perception and I’ve learnt.  I don’t hold grudges. If you hate me, I wish you love, If you love me or don’t know me, I wish you love, I genuinely do. I feel like the awkward person in the room. I’ve always been different and I always will be, but I guess you have to embrace it. There’s no other option really.

I don’t mean to be nasty or mean and I’d never try to hurt someone intentionally, but sometimes you get into situations where there’s confusion, and aloofness is not always the best trait to have. I’ve always wished I was more assertive, that I could let my fire out, because I feel like I have sat and taken so much shit from people in my life and been a walkover. If only I could stand up for myself, because deep down I really believed in me. But I don’t, I am so insecure and it drives me crazy. I look and act on the whole like someone who is very confident and secure and the majority of the time I am not.

I also find that when I am alone, anxiety is at its worst, but once I’m around friends/family I become an entertainer of sorts, I embrace this opportunity to have fun. But you cant always be surrounded by people and you most definitely cannot rely on anyone other than yourself for happiness.

One of the most vital things I have learnt over the last few years is to be happy for others, no matter what the circumstance.

It takes nothing to give a good intention. Often those who are mean to you or aggravate you are most in need of some love. This is true and I know this first hand, because whenever I am crabbit as hell, it is when I am most in need of love from others.

Don’t hold grudges.

Don’t judge people on one encounter.

None of us are perfect, we all have our moments of weakness where the facade falls. I pride myself on being happy and fun, but I can’t always do that. I cant always be a perfect person.

No-one is perfect.

It doesn’t exist!

The most beautiful thing in life is how different everyone is, the most interesting people to me aren’t trying to be cool, they just see things a bit different to the norm.

It doesn’t matter who you are to other people, you are you, you are special and unique, and there are people who love every ounce of your being.

I promise.

I get sad.

I feel like I hate myself at times.

I get angry.

I cant get out of bed.

I feel inferior.

I don’t want to talk.

This is not the point in this post, but I do think that it is an important point to note that the internet is an amazing tool, but that people can choose what parts of their life are shown. You choose to highlight your strengths of course.

This Christmas I was overwhelmed, I felt like I was given too much, like my family expect more of me, and now I have so much to live up to.

I am a teeny little panicky anxious thing stuck inside the body of a confident 28 year old and I don’t know what to do.

I am not the man I was yesterday.

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

2014 Favourites so far

That’s us nearly half way through February already, (how the heck did that happen so fast?! ) And it has been a pretty eventful year so far. Just before Christmas I moved into a new flat, got it done up real nice, ended a long term relationship, endured endless Christmas songs about how rubbish it would be to be single at that time of year, and I became a doggy parent. It’s not all bad though, change is good and these things just make you stronger. In all honesty things haven’t quite settled down yet and I’ve been a bit of a stress head so far this year. My motivation to get stuff done has been at an all time low, but I’m working on it. I think that everyone at some point in their life has suffered from some sort of mental health problem, and I think the best thing to do sometimes is to admit these things and be honest about what you’re going through. I would like to touch on these issues and my ongoing experiences of them in another blog another time, so please let me know if you think you would find that helpful.

Anyway, because I haven’t written anything for a really long time and I feel I have so much to share this may be quite long!

So firstly, I would like to introduce you to my beautiful greyhound Lola.

Image

I adopted her through the Scottish Greyhound Sanctuary in August 2013. She is a 3 years old brindle, and an ex-racer. I filled out a form on their website http://www.scottishgreyhoundsanctuary.com/ once I was sure that I really wanted to be a responsible dog owner and that I could give her all the love a dog would need. Then they came to my flat, and discussed my lifestyle and what kind of dog I would be looking for, ideal age and if I could cope with a dog who barks/ has issues with other dogs. Greyhounds have really got the most beautiful caring natures though and Lola is so docile and cuddly and she never barks. She is patient and loves to play, and sleeps even more than me! Having a dog was really important for me as I don’t enjoy being by myself and Lola has added a lot to my life since I got her. It is a huge responsibility though and has affected things I can/can’t do, things you don’t even think about, like just trying to get a taxi to take both of us!

Image

Image

I spent some time before I got her looking for a really nice collar for her and I ended up finding this beautiful purple renaissance style one, I’m not sure what seller I got it from on Ebay, but I also found this shop called slouching hound http://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/slouchinghound and they are all so beautiful! I’ll definitely be purchasing one from their shop. Have a look if you have a dog and want something a bit different from your usual collars and leads, and they are pretty affordable too! People comment on Lola’s all the time.

Me and Lola moved house just before Christmas, as I said, and it has been brilliant having the freedom to pick wallpapers and style it myself ( with help from my mum of course!). I picked a really beautiful 70’s style paper for my room called Trippy by Superfresco Easy. You can get it here: http://www.homefeaturewallpaper.co.uk/item/5800/wallpaper/superfresco-easy/-/trippy-15195/?productTargetID=59644995052&gclid=CKui6Z-4xrwCFbPItAodlQYAFQ

I’ve changed it around a wee bit since these photos and bought an amazing old dresser from one of my favourite Aladdin’s caves for cheap retro furniture, which I’ll share in another blog, as I’ve bought so much of my home stuff from it!

ImageImage

It’s a total bargain price for such cool wallpaper, and now I love my chilled out psychedelic orange sleeping cave! The throw on my bed is actually one of my dads old curtains, but I love the poppy pattern and thought it added to the overall vibe.

Image

I’ll take photos of the rest of the rooms and show you the other brilliant wallpapers I picked in another post! I never thought I would get so excited by decorating!

One of the other amazing things about this flat is that it has a communal launderette, and honestly I think it’s a great idea, you don’t need to take up space in your house with a washer/ dryer/ hanging clothes up and it is a great, super fast & efficient way to get all your stuff cleaned, as the machine can hold duvets and pilows etc, (they are huuuuge!)

Image

The other thing that I love is that you get to know your neighbours and have nice wee chats with each other whilst you watch each others undies slosh around in the machines. Brilliant!

A few other things that I have really been loving lately:

Forever 21.

Image

I went and did a total massive haul here in January, it was my first time in and I came back with so many awesome things. I’m actually scared to go back because I’ll spend too much, but this jumper with this kick-ass back detail was one of my favourite purchases. (excuse the state of my room here!) I also got monochrome leggings, with sharks and ones with bones on, leopard print shorts and a sleeveless leather look jacket. Still haven’t had the chance to wear half of it, bring on the warmer weather!

Coconut Water.

Image

This stuff is so tasty, hydrating and has less sugar than your average fruit juice but still really sweet and tasty and full of vitamins and is totally natural too! I drink gallons of the stuff. The brand that I would recommend is Go Coco, and you can get it at most Tesco stores. They also sell Vita Coco, which is 48p more expensive and personally I much prefer the taste of Go Coco. Give it a try, but drink it ice cold!

Marcus Raynal Hislop.

This guy is insanely talented and I just bought an A3 print of one of his pieces of Iggy Pop. I absolutely LOVE it and can’t wait to put it up!

Image

Definitely check out his work and I guarantee there’ll be something there you will fall in love with. He also does commissions. You can see his stuff here: http://www.thenotoriousgasolinecompany.com/

or get him on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/marcushislopdotcom

Have a great week!

You can follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hippyhooha

and also on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/hippyhooha

You may be confused that I have a Facebook account again… I did delete my personal account, but I made an art account to help me to share and sell my work, and I try to keep it as art related as I can. So there you go. You really can’t get by without using Facebook after all!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: