Category Archives: creative writing

HAPPY. CONTENT. POSITIVE. SHOULD BE STRESSED?

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Grey’s Bay, Bowen

Lately things have been kinda stressful, especially if I take a step back, looking from the outward in, but from my point of view, (especially or mainly due to the daily yoga practice I’ve been doing since January 1st) I don’t feel stressed, although I know there are some pressing matters that I should probably feel pretty darn stressed about.

Do you ever feel like you should feel stressed, like almost society says you should be stressed out by something and so you kind of play it out?

I haven’t done that so far, apart from acknowledging that I am in a potentially stressful place if I choose to accept it. I’m going to be brutally honest here.

16559132_10155123903552868_13656560_nI have less money in the bank than I am comfortable with, although I have no debts, no credit cards, no mortgage to pay off, so in many ways I am in fact free-er than the average home owner. (except I don’t have the joy of owning a home!)

Last year I earned more money than I think I have any other year of my life, I felt rich! I had a steady income, worked my butt off and was very happy. I’m glad for that as it helped me to make so many precious memories and journeys. I have lived work-free on and off for many months, living a life of luxury!  (Mainly because of lack of work not from choice!)

However, I have a visa to renew before November costing nearly $7000 aud.

It is looming over me.

I am working to a bit of a deadline, but there is a need that I must fulfil, I have to make it happen as no one else can. So, here goes, I’m gonna do my darnedest to create the life we want.

The biggest problem I’ve faced so far is that being on a working holiday visa, commonly known as a backpacker visa, means that any full time work I apply for is instantly rejected and so I am constantly applying for jobs, and if I get far enough then going to interviews and finally  being rejected when they find out my visa situation. It gets slightly disheartening, but I won’t stop trying!

It’s a catch 22 situation, no work because of my visa and no new visa applied for yet, because I don’t have the money to apply for it.

Anyway, my point is that I am trying out this new thing, called “Not freaking out about things.” I am just trying my best, staying positive, and taking whatever casual work I can to keep us afloat, which will hopefully lead to something more permanent. I have found that keeping tabs on my positivity levels and staying happy and thankful for what I have, makes me way more productive and likely to be able to get through any challenging times.

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Murray’s Bay, Bowen

After my visa comes through (Please accept me Australia!), we have big plans for the longterm. Buy a property to renovate eventually, (possibly where we are living now, in Bowen, possibly not) have our own boat and live in North Queensland with some beautiful dogs in a GORGEOUS place near to the beach that we’ve made our own. Our door always open to parents, siblings, friends and naughty nieces & nephews to visit.

Oohhh I can just see it all!

Side Note: (Say HELLO to ZEUS, the little puppy we are adopting, who will be ours on Saturday!)

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Our new family member, Zeus

So that’s the dream! We’ve found our little piece of heaven in each other and now it’s time to make it our home!

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Dingo Beach

Definitely a time to remember that making your dreams a reality isn’t always easy, but it’s worth a try.

You just gotta take it one step at a time.

My top five stress relieving tips:

  1. Daily exercise routine. No matter how much time you have to spare, take a little time out of your day even if it’s just 10 minutes to do a short relaxation yoga or meditation video on Youtube, or going for a short walk. You’ll often want to do more than you’ve planned on once there, and if not that’s okay. This will also help you sleep better as it really clears your mind and is a natural stress reliever. I highly recommend Yoga With Adriene’s videos.
  2. Following on from the last point, Sleep! I can be a terrible sleeper especially when I know I have something important to do the next day. It always seems to be once my head hits the pillow all of my worries crawl out of the shadows. I try to encourage a good nights sleep for myself by being productive during the day, keeping a notebook and pen beside my bed to jot down anything I remember I need to do and preparing what I’ll need for the next day – even just laying out my outfit and shoes, or re-organising my handbag helps me. A cup of tea also helps me to unwind and chill out. If I wake up in the night or can’t sleep, I go to the toilet, drink some water, write down whatever is bothering me and try again.
  3. Talk to someone. I find just voicing my fears or troubles to someone close to me can help to understand things from another perspective and it also helps to feel supported, receive suggestions and to help come up with solutions. It really helps to feel less alone. Everyone gets stressed out and if you meet up with a friend to do something fun such as go out for a walk or lunch for a chat, or have someone over for movies or drinks, then you can feel some clarity whilst having fun, which can help to eradicate negative emotions surrounding you. You may also realise that your positive friend has some stressful situations going on in their life and that can put your issues into perspective
  4. Tidy up your life. If you’re already stressed, it certainly doesn’t help to be surrounded by chaos, and I find that organising my clothes or even just hoovering and cleaning a little helps to make me feel less stressed out. You know where everything is and it feels calming to be in a nice environment and while that certainly doesn’t fix the reason you are stressing out, it definitely helps you to focus on what is important. Writing lists, making a bullet journal, buying a fancy new notebook to make plans in or even just pampering yourself a little can definitely help. I bought a new Doona cover the other day from Woolies on sale for $10, it has brightened up our bedroom and I definitely have been feeling happier and more relaxed from such a simple difference.
  5. Change it up. As Einstein said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results” I’m a big believer in moving out of your comfort zone, even if you don’t like it, at least you tried. If you are scared of flying then maybe book a fun trip with friends, if you  hate your job or where you live then why not go volunteer or teach abroad for a few months, if you are sad about being unfit why not join the gym or make up your own fitness regime. Sadly it can be easier to come up with excuses. Something that sometimes helps me, as strange as it sounds to say it, I think of life like a challenge. I don’t want the game to be over and for me to still be on level one. I want to have felt emotions, been places, met people, been scared, got stronger, pushed myself. There is a danger of living a slightly boring existence full of regrets if you don’t push out of your comfort zone. And remember that it is NEVER too late to start. Sometimes when life is frustrating and you feel you are getting nowhere, you have to light it up yourself. You’ll be waiting a long time if you expect anybody else to make a change happen aside from you.

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Thank you so much for reading, I hope it helps if you are feeling a little stressed out at the moment.

Lots of love,

Hippy Hoo Ha x

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When did it become okay to tell someone you don’t like how they look?

NEVER.

It never became okay!

I’ve noticed a recent increase in people commenting on how I look and giving me their quite frankly unwanted opinions on my personal decisions.

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So let me clear this up: this is for all the unwanted hair-touchers, prodders and outspoken opinion makers who I’m sure we have all encountered, and maybe if you realise you have done this you can see how rude and inappropriate you have been.

Respect is the biggest lesson to be learnt here.

Here’s 5 things all arseholes don’t realise:

  • Touching a strangers hair is inappropriate & unwelcome attention.

I cannot really find anyway to make touching a strangers hair an appropriate way to greet someone, so first of all please don’t  do it on a whim because you don’t understand it, and second of all please just don’t ask to do it. Go home and Google it or something. Most people are happy to answer any questions you have, but please don’t interrupt my private conversations. The amount of times I’ve been interrupted by a random hair toucher is unreal! I would NEVER interrupt someone to ask a dumb question so STOP IT NOW!

  • Just because I look different doesn’t  mean I want to talk to you about it

You cannot comprehend how many times I have been asked ‘What do your tattoos mean?’

I don’t ask what your hairdo means or your clothes, really please just leave me alone.

To me it’s mainly decoration, and any that I have that do mean something, what do I owe to you to tell you?

It’s not a strangers business so back the fuck up.

  • People with tattoos think its a way to relate to me:

Okay, so you have tattoos, I have tattoos, that’s great, I still don’t want to talk about mine, so please stand here and tell me for hours about how and when and where you got yours and I can try slowly slither away out of earshot. Holy Christ. I don’t wanna talk about it.

(This one is probably the bane of my life.)

  • You don’t like my hair/tattoos/piercings/image/style and feel an unbearable need to let me know:

I don’t judge you or comment on your life, so please keep your thoughts to yourself. I have a partner and I am very happy and content. I don’t need your approval and I am very aware of my life choices. It doesn’t bother me if you don’t like something about me, but I would certainly never feel the need to tell anyone friend or stranger something about their image that I personally didn’t like. Keep it to yourself! How rude of you! Live and let live!

  • You need to let me know that I’m probably going to regret that:

Oh yeah, so I never realised until you mentioned that it’s permanent.

Yeah I’ll totes regret it.

I hate your face!

(jokes)

So, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t understand why people think its okay to comment, is it because they think I want the attention? I genuinely think that some people assume that if you have tattoos and piercings and ‘mad’ hair you are doing it for attention, well you are very wrong.

I along with most other people who are seen as alternative are just being who we are.

I understand why people ask about these things but most of the time I get asked in a very rude manner. I worded this post in a jokey manner to try keep it fun. I am never rude to people who do ask me about things, but I would live a simpler life without this hassle as I’m sure a lot of people would too.

I choose to live my life this way and I like to decorate my body, I would never dream of asking someone why they don’t have body modifications so please give us a break and realise that we don’t all live our lives  in the same way!

* as a back note I’d like to say that I understand genuine human curiosity and that I can respect that and I can tell the people who are genuinely curious from the invasive rude people! Most of you are just lovely, it’s just a small percentage that lets us down.

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I just want to make a house, with our hands.

I just want to find a place, a beach.

I just want to make a house, with our hands.

I just want to hold the earth and squeeze it tight.

I want to hold you in my arms, surrounded by the ground that we made into a home.

I want to see you everyday.

I want to taste new tastes with you.

I want to wake up with you.

I want to wander around.

I want to wonder.

I wonder.

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Lets wander the lands whilst we can, and please, kiss me.

Always, kiss me.

I love you and I want you to hold my hand forever.

No-one else can hold me like you do.

No-one else can make me laugh like you do.

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“A critic must be knowledgeable in several fields, practices, and mediums. Brushing off art that they personally don’t understand, is not a critique.” ― Justin K. McFarlane Beau

I used to get annoyed or angered by others negativity or attempts to get a rise out of me.

With time I have learnt that the best way to deal with things is without anger, simply give your side, stand up for yourself and let it go.

We’re all human and we all make mistakes and nobody is perfect.

Other beings personal decisions are of no real concern to you, so focus on your own life and happiness and let others continue with theirs.

If people would like your opinion, I’m of no doubt they would ask.

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So before you judge me, remember that you don’t really know me.

You know what I let you know about me.

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The earth laughs in flowers.

People always say “Aww just do what makes you happy.”

Actually I gotta disagree.

Doing what only makes YOU happy is not the solution to a happy life.

Making a conscious effort to ensure that not only yourself but ALL OTHER BEINGS are happy is.

Sorry for tonight, but I don’t feel like writing long things.

Just think about the following and make your own conclusions.

Suggestion to help your brain get moving:

Look up something fictional, that you loved, but never thought could exist, then search it on-line, find all of the evidence for or against that you can, and believe in your self of being capable enough to accept that maybe, just maybe that could be true. We’re not saying it definitely is or isn’t, but by the very act of accepting that it could be possible (thinking outside your human constraints and belief system), you are working out your brain and your pineal gland

You have just expanded your mind and your consciousness.

You’re not crazy.

Goodnight.

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My brain 23:25.24 05/03/2015

The society we live in is so mixed up.

People competitively eat and are obese, whilst others starve.

Others are so lonely and depressed in a place so full of people and communication, that they kill themselves.

Does this happen in places without television, politics, money,?

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you all see that this is wrong?

We are so far detached from what is true.

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Him.

His eyes.

Like a sniper.

Target into mine.

A reflection of myself

An angel in the wings.

His silence says it all.

He says nothing.

His heart screams.

His tiger eyes.

Like wild fire.

Set me alight.

Him.

Him.

He is all.

He is everything.

He.

Is.

Me.

 

 

To help yourself, you must first be helped.

When I was told by a psychiatrist in Barcelona that I was too ill physically/mentally for her to work with me as she believed that I was close to death, I was pretty shocked. I thought at first that it was absurd and unnecessary that she was being so dramatic, but I suppose a part of me wasn’t really very shocked at all. Could she have been right?

It’s true, it did feel like I was killing myself. I think maybe that was my plan, just to slip away quietly, no drama.

That probably sounds horrendous to you that I’ve written that and been so blasé about it, but it’s probably true.

Since that time, I guess I must have worked a hell of a lot of stuff out, seen what feels like 100’s of psychs and doctors and been taught different techniques and even hypnotized.

These things do help I guess, maybe it’s a placebo, maybe it’s a distraction, but there’s no way that one or two sessions with someone can ‘fix’ you.

You gotta do it yourself, and this is the thing that really really makes me angry.

You need all the support and love to build yourself back up to being strong enough to help yourself.

You think I’m lazy?

That I’m not trying to get better?

You’re hurt I don’t miraculously cheer up and get out there and live life like you do?

I couldn’t read the goddam books because I was very sick and depressed and wanted to die.

I needed a cuddle, not your anger.

I needed love and reassurance, not your pressure.

You. Don’t. Understand.

The only way to understand is to suffer it.

So may you never.

Note:*This isn’t in any way meant maliciously towards anyone, this is my place to vent and write and pour my feelings out in a creative, healthy manner*

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“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s that time of year when everyone has been stressed out with Christmas, even me, who has a very understanding and carefree family. Even so, I have been mega stressed out the last few months (more so than usual.)

I try to be calm, but is it true that people who are very creative and aware struggle a lot during these times?

I feel like an alien often, I cannot understand how such a consumerist lifestyle has become so accepted. I cant get my head around it. I feel crazy for just wanting to say no to it all. Is it not enough that I love and care for everyone around me? Do I have to buy people  things to let them know I love them? Actions speak louder than words for sure, and not everyone can buy fancy things for their loved ones.

In the last few years Christmas has become hard for me, I am a bit of a perfectionist and I like to make things for people but if I don’t think something is good enough I won’t give what I’ve created. I always feel like a disappointment at Christmas, because there are not enough hours in the day to create something perfect enough for everyone I love. I therefore have to rely on the fact that hopefully they know that i love them so much, no bought gift could say it and nothing I can create is perfect enough for them.

In the last few months I have realised that what happens is a panic attack. I seize up and panic, cry and cant breathe, and I haven’t understood this for years, but now I know,  this happens for me especially before or during events like Christmas where I feel like I have to be so organized and perfect.

This is the kinda time where people often reflect on their year, and on reflection this year was one of the roughest times, following on from some really rough years before that too… I am learning and growing, I’m trying so hard, I want to be healthy and well, I want to forget my demons of the past, but it’s not about that I suppose. Without all of these past experiences I wouldn’t be who I am now. I know I’m not the best person, I know I’m not the best me, and I could be better, but I also know that every experience has altered my perception and I’ve learnt.  I don’t hold grudges. If you hate me, I wish you love, If you love me or don’t know me, I wish you love, I genuinely do. I feel like the awkward person in the room. I’ve always been different and I always will be, but I guess you have to embrace it. There’s no other option really.

I don’t mean to be nasty or mean and I’d never try to hurt someone intentionally, but sometimes you get into situations where there’s confusion, and aloofness is not always the best trait to have. I’ve always wished I was more assertive, that I could let my fire out, because I feel like I have sat and taken so much shit from people in my life and been a walkover. If only I could stand up for myself, because deep down I really believed in me. But I don’t, I am so insecure and it drives me crazy. I look and act on the whole like someone who is very confident and secure and the majority of the time I am not.

I also find that when I am alone, anxiety is at its worst, but once I’m around friends/family I become an entertainer of sorts, I embrace this opportunity to have fun. But you cant always be surrounded by people and you most definitely cannot rely on anyone other than yourself for happiness.

One of the most vital things I have learnt over the last few years is to be happy for others, no matter what the circumstance.

It takes nothing to give a good intention. Often those who are mean to you or aggravate you are most in need of some love. This is true and I know this first hand, because whenever I am crabbit as hell, it is when I am most in need of love from others.

Don’t hold grudges.

Don’t judge people on one encounter.

None of us are perfect, we all have our moments of weakness where the facade falls. I pride myself on being happy and fun, but I can’t always do that. I cant always be a perfect person.

No-one is perfect.

It doesn’t exist!

The most beautiful thing in life is how different everyone is, the most interesting people to me aren’t trying to be cool, they just see things a bit different to the norm.

It doesn’t matter who you are to other people, you are you, you are special and unique, and there are people who love every ounce of your being.

I promise.

I get sad.

I feel like I hate myself at times.

I get angry.

I cant get out of bed.

I feel inferior.

I don’t want to talk.

This is not the point in this post, but I do think that it is an important point to note that the internet is an amazing tool, but that people can choose what parts of their life are shown. You choose to highlight your strengths of course.

This Christmas I was overwhelmed, I felt like I was given too much, like my family expect more of me, and now I have so much to live up to.

I am a teeny little panicky anxious thing stuck inside the body of a confident 28 year old and I don’t know what to do.

I am not the man I was yesterday.

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

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I had a daydream.

Have you noticed that there’s loads of folk working their butts off and getting no free time, no chance of a holiday, no money for fun times, no time for family and friends and smiles and laughter, and who are also meanwhile, drowning in a downwards spiral, deeply consumed in debt.

I have literally, as I type, just come up with the solution.

Imagine…..

Why can’t everybody work 3 days out of 7, where your job could be allocated to you according to your mobility, skills, motivation etc.

Thats just threeeee days of say 8 hour work.

Four days off.

The three days that suit you best, you work.

Negotiated.

Subject to change.

You might end up settling for a job you wouldn’t love, but everyone does that anyway, so it couldn’t be worse. And it’s worth it cos you get so much free time.

Plus, folk in higher positions would be getting the same pay as say their receptionist, so there would be more pressure for actual work to be done, as they are working for the status rather than the money and therefore have to actually earn respect.

Then it wouldn’t just be the weekends that businesses like nail bars, restaurants, takeaways, hair salons, clubs and bars would get busy. It’d become a consistent flow for them, plus they’d have employees who were enthusiastic because they’d also get spare time for themselves. And no one would mind working weekends because everyday is great.

Weekends wouldn’t exist.

There would be people having nights off all over the place so life would be really social and people would connect with each other.

There’d be a really high wage so that everyone gets paid the same no matter their job, and so all a job really would mean is status, or if not, then  a purpose, rather than focused on money and a divide between the rich and the poor. If everyone sacrificed the same amount of time and was paid the same, then the only difference between the ‘well off’ and ‘not so’, would be their ability to not spend money. So in fact the money savvy poorer folk would probably, ironically become the richest.

Just a thought.

On another note before you get all defensive, I know it wont be anywhere near happening at the moment, because our lives now rely on competition between a few massive companies who own most of the brands out there. It doesn’t make economical sense for them to make things accessible to everyone. Then you cant justify charging crazy amounts for products because their designers would actually have to be good, and the banks couldn’t get you into debt and you wouldn’t waste your money on absolute crap.  (Because life would be so good, and you would be incredibly valued,  happy and fulfilled.)

Of course also the world we live in relies on the rich/poor divide. It makes me so sad and the extremes are so unnecessary.

I hate the commercialism we seem to get wrapped up in, and I’m trying really hard to not mention last Fridays events.

Consume. Consume. Consume.

No one wants you to be happy and fulfilled as much as I do, well apart from all of the other beautiful freethinking humans on the earth here with you.

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If it wasn’t for the dreamers, life would be so dull.

The creatives, the musicians, the extroverts, the introverts, the artists, the free thinkers, the seemingly average Joes: every body deep down wants to be live happily and fulfilled.

We dont want suffering, nor do we want to suffer.

Those are the ones who can see past the money, and the things. The ones who know what that is all about and who choose to say no to the system, or at least understand it and acknowledge its existence.

If you think that one person can’t make a difference then you are most definitely mistaken.

We are not just flesh and blood. We have an immense power within us, that has been replaced with a fixation on material things, so rather than search deep inside ourselves for our contentment and peace, we think that want the biggest, bestest, newest, most designerest ‘thing’.

It’s madness.

The real maniacs are the ones who think this is normal behaviour.

Let’s not only think about this, but try to make something similar become a reality.

Just talking about it and questioning life as we are told it, is a babystep, so I’m starting there for now.

🙂

On another note, if I hear that Royal Blood song played once more on the radio tonight I’m gonna cut off my ears.

#overplayed

 

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